Sally and the Seven Dwarves
by Harry's Girl 01031992
Summary: Me, Nausicaa of the Spirits, Random Little Writer, Jack Skellington, Sally, and the rest of the CB Parody characters are in this parody of SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES. What hilarity will ensue? R&R! Rated for extreme randomness and comic mischief
1. A Very Strange Beginning

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!

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**Cast List:**

**Sally- Princess Sally**

**Jack Skellington- The Prince**

**Dr. Finklestein- The King**

**Oogie Boogie- The Evil Queen**

**Barkis- The Witch**

**Harry's Girl 01031992- Dwarf #1**

**Nausicaa of the Spirits- Dwarf #2**

**Random Little Writer- Dwarf #3**

**Victor Van Dort- Dwarf #4**

**Emily- Dwarf #5**

**Victoria Everglot- Dwarf #6**

**Wallace- Dwarf #7**

**Gromit- The Dwarves' dog**

**Lady Tottington- Prince Jack's Sister**

**Will Turner- Prince Jack's Hot Cousin**

**Jack Sparrow- Prince Jack's Other Hot Cousin**

**Lock, Shock, Barrel and Quartermaine- Faces in the Magic Mirror

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**Sally and the Seven Dwarves**

Once upon a time, there was a queen who lived in a faraway kingdom. One day, she was sitting upon her throne and sewing in needle-point. As she was sewing, she accidentally poked (more like stabbed) herself in the finger with her needle. As she looked at her finger, bleeding profusely, she thought to herself, "Golly gee whiz! I'd sure like to have a child one day with patchy skin, auburn hair and cheeks that blush the same color of the blood dripping down my finger and onto the floor."

Having gotten that idea into her head, she ran to her husband, King Finklestein, who was working in the lab. She tapped him on his gianormous head until he got peeved.

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" The king yelled angrily, which made him almost fall out of his wheel-chair.

"Dearest, darlingest Finkle-poo, can you make me a child? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…" Five hours later… "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, please, please, please, please with jelly-beans, chocolate chips and whipped cream on top?"

"GAHH!" King Finklestein yelled. "Fine! I'll make your frickin' child!" He wheeled himself over to his slab in the lab. (Hey! That rhymed!) It took him five days, six hours, twenty five minutes, and fifty nine seconds, eighty spools of thread, and eight-hundred cappuccinos.

"I'm finished!" King Finklestein exclaimed, putting down his needle and wheeling away. "I'm going to bed…" The queen was so ecstatic that she seized her somehow full grown child and started shaking her.

"Hi, darling!" the queen shouted. "I'm your mama and I'm going to name you Sally!" Sally made the o.0 face at her mother. Sally's mother, being allergic to the o.0 face, got covered in hives, her throat closed up and she keeled over on the floor, dead as a door-nail.

"I think I just killed my mother…" Sally said to herself, while poking her now-dead mother with a stick. "I'll just tell my dad that he needs to get remarried."

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_End of chapter! I think the cast list was longer than the actual first chapter... Oh well... What'd you guys think of this story? And: **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer**, if you're above 5'0" (which I'm not), please don't take offense that I cast you as dwarves... What else were we supposed to be? Magical Talking Rocks? Anyway, review and I shall be grateful!_

_Happy Reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	2. Meet Queen Oogie Boogie and Prince Jack

Thanks to **Random Little Writer**, **Musically**, **IceQueen143** and **Nausicaa of the Spirits** for reviewing chapter one!

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

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When King Finklestein got the news of the Queen's death, he acted in the exact opposite way you'd react if your spouse just died: He partied for twenty-four hours, made prank phone calls, and danced with an obese monkey. Right after that, he got married to an extremely fat lady named Oogie Boogie. After they got married, King Finklestein "mysteriously" died in the middle of the night. Queen Oogie Boogie moved in and hung a magic mirror in the great hall. Everyday, she would ask the mirror: "Mirror, mirror, upon the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" The three faces, that of a devil, witch, skeleton and an ugly rabbit killer would always reply, "You are the fairest, our beautiful queen. You are far more beautiful than that little urchin Sally." Over the years, the queen assured herself that she would be the most beautiful queen in the land. But one day, that all changed.

"Mirror, mirror, upon the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Queen Oogie Boogie asked the mirror.

"Er…" said the face of the ugly rabbit killer. "We'd hate to tell you this, but according to the witchy one's tabloid magazine, Sally is the fairest one in the land."

"GRRRR!" Queen Oogie Boogie roared.

Meanwhile, Sally, in a dress made out of rags, was cleaning the steps of the palace. As she was cleaning, she sang a little tune to herself. A prince from a nearby kingdom, Prince Jack, was riding past the castle. Enchanted by the music, he climbed over the palace wall and saw, what was in his opinion, the prettiest girl in the world. He finally broke the silence.

"Hello," he said. "My name is Prince Jack. What's your name?"

Sally stared at him for a second, blinked, and finally ran away screaming.

_She likes me,_ Prince Jack thought to himself. _It's so obvious._

In another corner of the castle, Queen Oogie Boogie was pacing evilly, thinking of an idea to get rid of Sally. After eleven hours of plotting, the idea finally hit her.

_I'll have my huntsman lackey kill her,_ Thought the evil queen. Evil, manic laughter ensued and people in the village wondered, "What the flip is going on at that castle?"

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_End of chapter! What will happen to Sally?! Find out in the next chapter! Oh, yeah, please review!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	3. BERRIES AND CREME!

Thanks to **Mr. Oogie Boogie**, **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer **for reviewing chapter two.

Disclaimer: I'm gonna be using the guy from the "Berries and Crème" Starburst candy ads, and I seriously don't own him.

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It was a Thursday and it was Queen Oogie Boogie's favorite day for disposing of people she hated. She was going to get rid of Sally today, so she called upon her favorite huntsman lackey, Jim-Bobbert, to get the job done.

"I want you to get rid of my annoying step-daughter, bring back her big toenail, and in return, I will reward you with Berries and Crème Starburst." Queen Oogie Boogie said to Jim-Bobbert.

Jim-Bobbert was a short, little man with a hair-do and face that looked an awful lot like Davy Jones' (the singer from the musical group, The Monkees, not the guy who wants Captain Jack Sparrow's soul). He wore something that you'd find in Puritan or Shakespearian times in a hideous shade of green, complete with black, buckled shoes.

"Pardon me, but what kind of Starburst did you say?" Jim-Bobbert asked, intrigued.

"Berries…"

"Berries? Berries and what else?"

"and crème…"

Jim-Bobbert had some sort of a fan-boy spaz and he started doing this weird little dance while chanting and clapping, "Berries and crème, berries and crème, I'm a little lad who loves berries and crème!"

Queen Oogie Boogie looked at her huntsman lackey very confusedly as his chanting became more frantic and sped up.

"BERRIES AND CRÈME! BERRIES AND CRÈME! I'M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES BERRIES AND CRÈME!" Jim-Bobbert sang and he had his jazz hands on at the end of his little song. (When he said crème, he said it more like, "KA-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMM-UH!")

"Okay, then…" Queen Oogie Boogie said, a bit scared about what was going to happen next. "Get to work right away and you'll get that candy sooner than you think."

"Yes, Your Royal Highness." Jim-Bobbert replied. He scampered off to the field, where Sally was singing and picking flowers.

"Hiya, Jim-Bobbert!" Sally exclaimed, when she saw her step-mother's huntsman lackey. "What's up?"

Jim-Bobbert, being a very sensitive guy and unable to bear the thought that he would be killing a very pretty girl with the very high potential of having very photogenic kids exclaimed, crying, "YOUR STEP-MOTHER WANTS ME TO KILL YOU AND BRING BACK YOUR BIG TOENAIL AS PROOF!!"

"I knew my step-mother was always eyeing my big toenail, but I never noticed it until now." Sally replied.

"I think you should go run into the forest until it's safe." Jim-Bobbert advised. Sally did as she was told and ran like Forrest Gump into the dark scary forest. She was attacked by tree-monsters, log-alligators (which I don't think live in Europe, where this story is taking place. And I also noticed that in the Disney version of Snow White.) She was so frightened, that she collapsed from fear in the middle of the forest. It suddenly got brighter and cute, little forest animals came out of hiding.

Sally brightened up and went out of the woods, with her newfound animal friends by her side, walked for a bit until they found a cute, little cottage at the edge of the forest.

If you were wondering about Jim-Bobbert and his quest to obtain those Berries and Crème Starburst, just as he was about to return to Queen Oogie Boogie's castle, there was an old woman whose foot had been stepped on by a Clydesdale horse and it just so happened that her big toenail fell off. Being ever so quiet, he nicked the toenail and ran off to the castle where he would earn his reward.

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_End of chapter! **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Random Little Writer** and I will be making our appearance in the next chapter! (Yay!) Oh yeah, please review!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	4. Half Eaten Twinkies and Sissy Slap Fight

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer **for reviewing chapter 3.

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Sally opened the door to the cottage and when she stepped inside, she saw the hugest mess she had seen in her twenty-five year old life! Sludge was spewing out of the sink like Old Faithful; shoes were scattered all over the place; the toaster was on fire (A/N: Don't ask me how they got a toaster in a medieval fairy-tale… they just did!); and there were half-eaten Twinkies, Pop-Tarts, and Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cake littered around the house.

"Oh my gosh!" Sally exclaimed. "I've seen horrible messes made by my stepmother, but this is ridiculous!" Knowing that this mess was going to take a while to clean up, she pulled out her SWIFFER MOP OF AWESOMENESS!! (insert fanfare here) The animals pulled out Windex, cleaning rags, Mr. Clean Magic Sponges and SNAPPY LATEX GLOVES OF COOLNESS!!! (more fanfare, but this time by snapping the gloves on your wrist)

Everybody started cleaning and Sally sang about whistling while you work. (A/N: I often try singing this song when my Grandma makes me clean, but it never works for some reason…) In no time, the house was so clean that it literally sparkled.

Meanwhile, a girl that was possibly on LSD and Absinthe was walking through a talking flower garden…Oops! Wrong story!

Meanwhile, seven dwarves and their dog were working in the jewel mines and (surprise, surprise) they were singing to pass the time.

"Hey!" A dwarf named Harry's Girl 01031992 exclaimed, holding a rather large garnet. "I found a garnet! I bet they'd pay me a pretty penny over at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington DC."

"If you think that's impressive," said another dwarf named Nausicaa of the Spirits. "Wait 'til you get a load of this baby!" She whipped out a huge quartz stone.

"Nuh-uh!" Another dwarf named Random Little Writer said. "My gem is the biggest!!!" She held out a diamond that was more like a continent than a rock. Arguing ensued, and that soon gave way to sissy slap-fighting. Another (extremely tall) dwarf named Victor broke up the fight.

"Whoa, there, girls!" he exclaimed. "Save the arguing 'til we get home! Besides, only five minutes 'til work is finished!"

Five minutes went by and it was to go home from work. All the dwarves filed out of the cave and marched home singing, "Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's home from work we go!" (Does that sound familiar to you?)

At the little cottage, Sally was exploring the upstairs portion of it. She got to the bedroom and saw that there were seven beds and a dog bed. Being extremely tired, she crawled into one and fell fast asleep.

Meanwhile at Queen Oogie Boogie's castle, Queen Oogie Boogie adored the big toenail that Jim-Bobbert had fetched for her. As she was carefully examining the toenail, she saw that there was a large crack down the middle. She knew that Sally's toenails were in no way imperfect. Furious, she stormed to the great hall and asked the mirror who was the fairest in the land. It revealed to her that Sally was still alive. Queen Oogie Boogie bust out in screams of anger.

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_End of chapter! What will happen in the next chapter? Review and I shall be grateful!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	5. Five Minute Screaming and Panicking!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer** for reviewing! Sorry it took me so long to update it! Here's chapter five!

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It was nightfall and the dwarves marched home from work. As usual, they sang the oddly familiar song, "Heigh, ho, heigh, ho! It's home from work we go!"

Meanwhile at the cottage, Sally was fast asleep, but the animals, which were with her in the dwarves' bedroom, could hear the singing and ran out of the house like lickety-split. The dwarves, thinking nothing of the stampede of cuddly forest animals, kept on marching towards the house until they saw something very odd… THE COTTAGE WAS SPARKLING!!!!! Their formation got all disarrayed and the dwarves hid behind a large tree.

"Jiminy Cricket!" They exclaimed in unison.

"Why is the house sparkling?!" asked a corpse-dwarf named Emily.

"I don't know!" Replied a dwarf named Victoria. "It's sort of freaky…"

"It's just not natural…" said a dwarf named Wallace. "What do you think about it, Gromit?" he asked their dog.

In sign language, Gromit said, "I think we should go inside and investigate."

"Gromit's right," Victor said. "We should all go into the house and see why it's sparkling." So they did. When they stepped foot inside, their eyes widened in horror. THE HOUSE WAS CLEAN! (Insert scary pipe organ music here)

"GAAAAH!" Harry's Girl screamed. "Where's my favorite brown, knit cap?! I left it right here on the table!"

"I don't know," Nausicaa replied, "BUT MY IPOD IS MISSING!"

"You think that's a problem?" Random asked. "My book of random plans has vanished into thin air!"

"As well as my book of my inventions!" exclaimed Wallace.

"And my piano music book!" exclaimed Victor.

"And my outline for needle point!" gasped Victoria.

"And my veil!" exclaimed Emily.

"NOT MY DOG DISH!" mimed Gromit, dropping to his knees.

All of a sudden, they all heard humming coming from upstairs.

"Where's that humming coming from?" Harry's Girl asked, who obviously was spacing out when the Narrarator was narrarating.

"Weren't you listening to the Narrarator?!" Nausicaa replied. "She said the humming was coming from upstairs."

"Let's go upstairs and check it out." Random replied. Everyone followed suit and climbed upstairs and went to their bedroom, only to find a snoozing Sally.

"What should we do?" Emily asked in a whisper. "Do we just leave her alone or wake her up?"

"I don't know," replied Victor. "Let's flip a coin to decide what to do. Heads, we wake her up; tails, we leave her be." He took a coin out of his pocket, flipped it and it landed on tails.

"Looks like we're going to be sleeping in the living room tonight, you guys," said Harry's Girl. Just as they started to walk out of the room, Sally stirred. After she rubbed her eyes, she saw the dwarves. This made her scream, which made them scream, which made her scream. This lasted for about five minutes until they all ran out of breath.

"Who are you?" Wallace asked.

"I'm Sally," she replied. "And who, may I ask, are all you fine people?"

"My name's Victor!"

"I'm Victoria!"

"I'm Emily!"

"I'm Harry's Girl!"

"I'm Nausicaa!"

"I'm Random!"

"I'm Wallace!"

"And I'm Gromit."

"Nice to meet you all!" Sally exclaimed. "You have a very nice home."

"Thank you muchly!" Harry's Girl exclaimed.

"Well, nice meeting you, Sally," Nausicaa said. "We'd better get off to the living room to hit the hay after a long day of work."

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Meanwhile at the castle, Queen Oogie Boogie was planning an evil plan to get rid of Sally.

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_What is Oogie's evil plan? Find out in the next chapter in **Sally and the Seven Dwarves**! Oh yeah, please review _:)

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	6. Jack's Got a Crush! Jack's Got a Crush!

After three months of hiatus and a computer crash, chapter six of _Sally and the Seven Dwarves_ is finally here! Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits **and **Random Little Writer** for reviewing!

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"I need to think up a clever way to get rid of that Sally girl since Jim-Bobbert wasn't successful." Queen Oogie Boogie said to herself. She thought for a while until she was smacked hard with an idea.

"OWWW!" she screamed. "That idea smacked me hard! But it just might work. I'll poison that silly little girl with fruit! I know for a fact that she can't resist her fruit!"

She then gallivanted off to her **SECRET FRUIT GARDEN OF DOOM(!!!)**, which was located 50 floors below her, behind 24,235 secret doors and finally, under the flowery trap-door of DOOM(!). She finally arrived at this garden after a grand total of 62 hours, 45 minutes, and 56 seconds.

She looked through all the fruit bushes and finally found the perfect fruit to poison Sally: a perfectly ripe and round green plum (A/N: I'm not referring to a rotten one, there are actually plums out there that are green when ripe, and they're pretty good. I should know…my mom bought some and I ate half of them! Anywhoodles, on with the story!).

"Ah", Queen Oogie Boogie said, with a delighted sigh. "Sally just loves her green plums. But what shall I poison it with? Drain cleaner? Rat poison? Arsenic…"

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Meanwhile, back at Prince Jack's castle, Prince Jack sat in his bed chamber with a look on his face like that of a 15-year-old teenager with a new crush.

_I wonder if that girl I saw the other day is thinking about me like I'm thinking about her._ Jack thought. _The other girls who wanted to marry me weren't as hard working as she was._

Suddenly, he heard a rapping on the door.

"Come in," Jack said. "The door's open."

Three people walked in, two handsome looking men, and a proper looking woman.

One of these men had dark brown hair that was long and tied up in a red bandana. His skin was tan from the sun. His eyes were chocolate brown and lined in heavy eyeliner. He had a mustache and a goatee that was long enough that he could tie it in two little braids. This man's name was Jack Sparrow, cousin of Prince Jack Skellington, and a pirate who sometimes roamed on the Caribbean on his ship, _The Black Pearl_.

The other man was Will Turner. He was also Prince Jack's cousin. He had brown hair tied in a pony-tail and brown eyes that one could almost drown in, just by looking at them. He wore a puffy-sleeved, white shirt, a brown vest, brown breeches, thick brown stockings, and leather shoes with metal buckles.

The woman had orange hair, big, red lips, and a bit of an over-bite. She wore a purple, flowered dress and had a flower in her hair to put the outfit together. Her name was Lady Campanula Tottington.

"Hey, Jack," Will said. "We just decided to check on you, to see how you were doing."

"We've been a bit worried about you lately, Jack. You've been spending most of your free time in your room. Have you been feeling ill or anything?" Lady Tottington said.

"With that goofy grin on his face, I bet he is." Jack Sparrow said with a laugh.

"That's not it, my dear cousins and sister." Prince Jack replied. "I must confess that I am in love with the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Oh, the feeling of love is such a beautiful thing." Lady Tottington sighed.

"Are you sure that this lady you're talking about isn't a very feminine-looking bloke?" Jack Sparrow asked.

"Yes, I am quite sure about that." Prince Jack said.

"What's her name?" Will asked, interested.

"I don't know." Prince Jack replied with a heavy sigh. "She ran away screaming after she saw me."

"That's alright, cousin." Jack Sparrow said. "There are other fish in the sea."

"Now come downstairs with us to the lounge," Will said. "Maybe having some chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches will brighten you up."

"And it's the perfect weather for it, too. It's raining and nothing can clear up your emotional clouds like some soup and sandwiches." Lady Tottington said with a grin.

"Okay," Prince Jack said. "I'll maybe stay down there for an hour, but after that, I'm going to bed."

So after an hour of soup and sandwiches, Jack walked back up to his room with a full stomach. He got into his pajamas and night cap and fell asleep. He dreamt wonderful dreams about him and his dream girl skipping through a graveyard and spending a romantic time together.

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_End of chapter!! You know the drill... please review and the authoress will be extremely grateful._

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	7. Magical Talking Rocks and Fruit puns

Thanks to **Grogie13**,** Random Little Writer**, and **Nausicaa of the Spirits **for reviewing! Sorry I haven't updated like I've promised! I've been preoccupied with so many other things. (Just to name a few: Band (especially with raising money for the Florida trip), homework, and just life itself.) And finally after (holy crap) almost five months of hiatus and my 16th birthday on the 3rd of January, I bring you the seventh chapter of Sally and the Seven Dwarves.

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The next morning, Sally awoke from a peaceful sleep to find a beautiful winter morning. Cardinals were singing upon a tree branch outside her window and snow was softly falling.

She wrapped one of her blankets around her before she went downstairs to bid the dwarves a good morning, for she knew it would be cold in the lower level of the house.

When she got downstairs, she saw that the mess had returned. She saw that each dwarf had a mug of a half-drunk cherry soda or root beer float in their hand (Harry's Girl had cherry soda float foam coming out of her mouth, giving it the illusion that she had cherry-flavoured rabies (A/N: The cherry-flavoured rabies is a reference to my Nintendo Wii 16th birthday party on Saturday the 19th … I was trying to talk with the foam in my mouth, but it ended up on my Sweeney Todd shirt)) and Sour Patch Kids and Whoppers malted milk balls were scattered all over the floor. Gromit was lying in a pile of dog biscuits.

With a sigh, Sally went back upstairs, got dressed, came back downstairs and started cleaning.

When she was about to scrape the sticky mess of Sour Patch Kids off the floor, a large rock randomly teleported itself into the cottage.

"Hi!" the rock exclaimed. "My name's Grogie13! What's yours?"

"Er…my name's Sally," Sally said, to the rock now known as Grogie13. "Nice to meet you. I don't mean to be rude or point out the obvious, but you're a talking rock. That's a bit unusual."

"But being a bit unusual is great!" Grogie13 exclaimed. "Being a bit unusual means that you're not one of the many sheep in the flock."

"I never thought of it that way…" Sally replied. "Thanks for the advice!"

"Well, I must be off," Grogie13 said. She then poofed away.

Sally then continued cleaning until the room was mess free.

About five minutes after the room was fully clean, the dwarves awoke from their slumber.

"Brrr…" Victoria yawned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "It's a tad chilly down here."

"Too bad we don't have a fireplace," Random replied. "But then again, if the house caught on fire, that would be bad."

"I'm kind of hungry," Nausicaa said.

"At least we have our floats left." Harry's Girl said, lifting her fist to her mouth, but only getting a fist in her face. "Aw, man! Where'd our floats go?"

"I cleaned up the place while you were sleeping," Sally replied. "And soda floats aren't the best breakfast."

"Why not?" Victor inquired.

"Yeah," Emily added. "We've been having those for breakfast for at least a month now."

"Sally's right," replied Wallace, taking out a slide projector (A/N: Again, please don't ask.) and setting it up. He turned it on. "If one has the same thing for breakfast everyday for a certain amount of time, this will give the consumer malnutrition." He showed everyone a picture of a toothpick-thin man. Everyone gasped.

"That is why I'm going to cook you all a healthy breakfast before you go to work." Sally said. "Hard workers like you need a good, nutritious breakfast in order to keep working all day."

Sally walked into the kitchen and started cooking. About twenty five minutes later, every dwarf and Gromit sat at the dinner table, waiting for Sally to emerge from the kitchen with their breakfast.

Sally presented them with buttered toast, bacon, eggs, sausages and pancakes.

Everybody was about to start eating when Gromit mimed to Sally, "You can have some of my eggs and bacon if you want to."

"That's very kind of you, Gromit, but I have to clean up the kitchen." Sally replied.

"We could do that for you," Emily said.

"But you'll be late for work!" Sally exclaimed.

"That's alright," Nausicaa said.

"We work for ourselves, anyway, so it doesn't really matter if we're late or not." Random added.

"Thank you so much!" said Sally.

"It's our pleasure," Victor said.

"You're a guest in this house, so we want to help you have the best experience here." Wallace added.

The dwarves and Gromit went into the kitchen and started cleaning while Sally finished eating Gromit's breakfast. After about of an hour of hard work and elbow grease, the dwarves and their dog left the house for work.

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Meanwhile, at Queen Oogie Boogie's castle, the Queen was **still **deciding which poison to use on the green plum.

"…Tropical rainforest frog, antifreeze…"

The magic mirror and the narrator were both very tired of this unfruitful (A/N: Ha ha! I found a pun, and I didn't type it in there on purpose) decision making, so they smacked the Queen upside the head and told her to dip the plum in antifreeze.

"Excellent idea," replied the queen. "Now all I have to do is figure out a clever disguise to go as so Sally won't figure out that it's me." More evil laughter ensued and people in the village went to bed that night wearing earmuffs in order to drown out the sound of the psychotic queen's guffaws.

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_End of Chapter!! What disguise will Queen Oogie Boogie use to give the fatal fruit to Sally? Find out in the next chapter of Sally and the Seven Dwarves!_

_And when you review, I'll send out some cherry soda and root beer floats along with some sour patch kids, because the reviewers deserve it!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	8. Nasty Potions and Mistaken Identity

_Grazie_ to **Random Little Writer**, **Grogie13 **and **Nausicaa of the Spirits **for reviewing! Oy, vey… another long hiatus. _Je suis désolée_, but you know what my alibi is going to be… Repeat after me: "Life has been so busy lately and blahdy blah blahdy blah blah…" Please don't kill me for not updating like I said I would. Anywhoodles, onward with the story!

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Queen Oogie Boogie pulled out her potion book for disguises. She leafed through it for maybe about 15 seconds until she found the perfect disguise.

She gathered all of the ingredients that were needed for it and they included: one half of a Vogon (_Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_) liver, a meat pie from Mrs. Lovett's (_Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street_) shop, a mole off of Lord Voldemort's (_Harry Potter_) head, and a piece of eight from one of the Pirate Lords.

She then combined the ingredients in a cauldron full of boiling zit puss and Polyjuice potion and stirred them up until they produced a noxious odor that resembled that of a dead skunk rotting on the side of the road in the middle of summer and the potion turned a putrid greenish-grayish color.

"Eeeeeeehxcellent," Queen Oogie Boogie hissed (à la Mr. Burns from _The Simpsons_) proudly, observing her handiwork. "This will be the perfect to fool that little urchin Sally into taking the poisoned peach. Now, the only problem is to down this stuff without worshipping the porcelain god." (A/N: "Worshipping the porcelain god" is another expression for vomiting, for those of you who didn't know.)

She stared at it for maybe about 30 minutes until finally swallowing her disgust and swallowing the gunk that was the disguise potion.

After she swallowed it, her breathing became shallow and her mind started racing. She became shorter, her (nonexistent) hair became grey, greasy and slicked back and partially balding. Her chin and face contorted itself until it resembled someone's extremely pale derriere.

"Just as planned," the Queen said in a sly British voice. "She'll never know that it's me."

She stepped up to the mirror, and the reflection looking back at her was now that of Barkis Bittern.

"GOOD LORD!!" exclaimed the face of the rabbit hunter that was in the mirror. "It's hideous!!"

"Let's kill it!" cried the trick-o-treaters. They pulled out their slingshots and the rabbit hunter pulled out his gun and they began shooting at the Queen through the mirror, and somehow, the bullets and pellets actually went through the mirror.

"Stop shooting at me!" Queen Oogie Boogie/Barkis snapped. "It's me, your queen."

"Oh, okay." The mirror said, putting down its weapons.

"Now," she declared. "I must go poison the peach!" And you guessed it, evil laughter ensued.

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_OH, NOES!! Will Sally fall for Queen Oogie Boogie's evil plan? Will good triumph over evil? And when will Prince Jack Skellington make his next appearance?! Find out in the next chapter!_

_And as always, reviews are greatly appreciated _

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


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